Have you ever had a story that you just couldn’t bring yourself to write? Maybe you’re afraid to face it, or you think you’ll be judged. You can’t bring yourself to put the words down on the page, and it probably has a lot to do with fear.

I tend to stray away from writing the things that make me feel ashamed. The situations that I got myself into by making the wrong choice, the relationships my friends have told me to leave many times, when I let people hurt me instead of leaving.

Those are the hardest stories for me to write down. I want to say that as a confessional writer, I am an open book, but I am not. There are reasons I have secrets, and there are things I can’t say, not yet. …


Committing to crazy big goals can lead to crazy big results.

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Photo by Paico Oficial on Unsplash

Every year during the month of November, thousands of people commit to writing a novel. NaNoWriMo or Nation Novel Writing Month puts the word count limit of fifty thousand words on the event. If you write every day, that comes out to only writing one thousand six hundred and sixty-seven words each day.

The last time I took part in NaNoWriMo was in 2018. I was pregnant with my second child. That pregnancy was hard on my body, and at the beginning of October, I was placed on bed rest. My son was in preschool and was gone four days a week, leaving me with not a lot to do. After a month of watching Netflix and reading, I was bored out of my mind. …


Who really deserve to be called a homewrecker?

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Photo by Gabby Orcutt on Unsplash

I don’t remember the circumstances around telling my boyfriend that I had been with a married man. But inevitably, it always comes up. I’m not one to go around wearing a scarlet letter, but I do believe in being honest about my dating history.

After telling him, it became a kind of a running joke to call me a homewrecker. I know that he was only poking fun, but it did get me thinking about a few things when it came to being the other woman. …


It’s something that is attainable by everyone.

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Photo by Fezbot2000 on Unsplash

The term big dick energy has been making the rounds on social media for a few years now. It all started when teeny tiny pop star Ariana Grande tweeted about how big Pete Davidson’s manhood was for the entire world to know, and from there, the rest is history.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term, Urban Dictionary defines it as a man with confidence who isn’t cocky, and it is never misplaced and is never simulated. Celebrities from Idris Elba to Brad Pitt have been labeled as having BDE.

Big dick energy is one of those things that you can’t really define.

It’s like having the X factor, nobody knows what that little bit of something is, but they know it when they see it. It is not something that you can fake, hoping that you will someday have it bestowed upon you. …


#3 You’re Lazy

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Photo by Kat Stokes on Unsplash

I have had a lot of jobs in my time.

Some that were easy and fun, like working at Hot Topic. There was nothing too difficult about folding shirts and listening to punk rock music all day. Even our busiest days, like Black Friday when a stampede practically rushed the store at midnight, were a lot of fun.

Then there are the jobs that were fun and took a lot of work, like waiting tables. …


and my one-year-old too.

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Each night our family has a routine. Emmy, my one-year-old daughter, takes a bath after dinner because she has this obsession with taking hands full of food and rubbing it in her hair. After her bath, my son takes a bath, laying quietly in the tub until I come to wash him. Then we all put our pajamas on and brush our teeth together. I hold Emmy as she stands on the bathroom counter, looking at herself in the mirror. Graham has to have help brushing his teeth because his sensory issues make it one of his least favorite things. …


even if things ended horribly.

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Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash

I do this thing where I get my heart set on one person, the perfect person, the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, but then somehow manage to mess it up. I’ve never been that great at relationships. My insecurities cause me to never feel truly comfortable with a partner. I’m always afraid that they will leave me or that I’m going to make a mistake and ruin it.

My insecurities usually cause me to end up pushing them away. I turn little fights into bigger ones. I get jealous and needy and turn into a person I don’t know. …


Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever, no matter how much we love them.

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Photo by Pablo Merchán Montes on Unsplash

Soulmate, the love of my life, happily ever after, perfection.

I think I have used all of these words to describe my last relationship. I’ve spent almost a year writing about him and our relationship. I’ve written about the good and the bad, the dreams of traveling the world we had, and the fights that tore us both apart.

Many times, I have written about how the first time I looked at him, I knew I would love him. …


None of which require a scalpel.

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Photo from Sony

The first time I met Meredith Grey, I was going through a rough time in my life. I was broke, sleeping on an air mattress, with a job that didn’t pay well and was going through a pretty bad breakup.

I was working nights as a karaoke DJ. It was a fun job but didn’t pay well. Because I was up all night, I had a hard time coming down at night when I came home. …


Cutting toxic family members out of your life is never easy.

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Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash

I grew up with a mother who could only be defined as toxic, and that is putting it nicely. When I was growing up, to the outside world, she seemed like a great mother. She would brag on all of her children, quoting their achievements to anyone that would listen.

Our mother seemed doting and caring towards her children. She attended every concert, softball game, parent teacher conference and play. Our house was always clean, we were always fed and well taken care of, but if you looked deeper, you would see a very different picture. …

About

Ashley Shannon

Thirty something queer mom of two, one with autism. Lover of sushi, coffee, and wine. Living a life of travel. Top Writer ashleyshannononmedium@gmail.com

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